One summer afternoon, I was driving on the highway to see my friends for a bbq. It was raining buckets so driving really slow gave me some time to spare. Now, I hadn’t seen this friend group for a long while. Partly, because of a pandemic but mostly because I felt like I didn’t fit in. These are the friends I’ve had since high school, friends that have kept in touch for over 25 years and I’m incredibly grateful for that. But after my divorce something changed in me, I became the only friend in our group who was single, childless, divorced.
I dreaded going to our get-togethers because I’d always turn up with a new boyfriend just to feel normal (as if a new relationship was going to fix the situation) and a whole lot of pain. I would see all of my friends so happy in their lives with their husbands and their kids… yet I was still trying to pick up the pieces of my life years later. Then I’d down a couple of glasses of wine to numb the feelings of failure and the memory of a life I thought I was supposed to have. I wanted to hide who I was and how my life had turned out and ultimately forget for just a moment … that I was the “broken” one.
But this time I wanted to be different. I wanted to feel everything. I wanted to feel whole.
My long car rides have become a spiritual practice for me, an opportunity to explore and learn something new about myself. On this particular day, I wanted to lose the old script I had been carrying around with me and try my hand at setting an intention for a positive experience before arriving at this BBQ. I set the following intentions:
To be fully present, taking in each moment I have with them as a joyful experience.
To be proud of who I am and the journey I'm on and know this is exactly where I’m supposed to be
To know my friends love me for who I am, and not a life status… nothing was going to change that
In the end, that afternoon turned out to be one of the most special moments I’ve shared with those women in a long time. I had meaningful conversations, laughed at the kids and their jokes, and together cried happy tears. I no longer felt inferior or less than. I felt alive, whole with a newfound love for the people I have in my life.
After I said my goodbyes and had taken the token group shot, I left the party feeling different… I felt joyful. I realized I had done something miraculous. I had consciously shifted my experience by setting a positive intention and holding on to it. I felt like I had completed a magic trick - changing the course of the future and making it even better than I had imagined. I have the power to choose how I was going to feel in a situation instead of letting my negative emotions and beliefs choose for me.
Realizing I had the power to choose my own adventure all along... makes me feel invincible.
Want to tap into your power to become the hero of your own epic love story? Start your journey here.