As life coaches, we’re constantly telling our clients to do better to be better but when it comes to our own self-discovery practices, sometimes we come up short. I’m going to be vulnerable here and fully admit I’ve been slacking on my own advice. But this year, I want to do things differently, I want to completely practice what I preach.
For many years, I’ve always known I’ve had a difficult relationship with letting go. Whether it was a relationship or a job, I couldn’t overcome the fact I didn’t have control over the outcome. I was a fixer, a doer and a perfectionist. If something wasn’t going right in my life, I’d try to fix the hell out of it to make it right. I think the reason I’ve lived with so much anxiety is that I was so afraid to get life wrong or go against the grain. From a young age, I was taught you need to work hard, get a certain type of job, get married to a man who checked all the boxes, and have a perfect little family in order to be successful. This became my lifelong mission, one that I never once questioned or contemplated because… that’s just how it was supposed to be.
From that point on, I made every effort to make sure my life fit that mold. Forcing relationships, forcing jobs, and forcing myself to be liked by everyone else because my approval didn’t matter. I stayed in jobs I hated, I stayed in relationships that sucked, and believed this is what life is supposed to be like. This underlying anxiety and pain was normal. Truth is, I was so afraid to let go and feel pain, I didn’t realize I was denying myself in the process.
Have you ever noticed when you’re using all of your power to make something go a certain way it never ends up in your favour? When you’re working against the universe and the laws of nature, you can’t win. If you’ve ever tried everything to make something work, pro tip - stop trying. Once you stop efforting and pushing against what is, life happens as it should and something greater always comes from it.
Nothing in life is certain as much as we want it to be. Instead of forcing, fixing, and trying to control, choose to see letting go as a gift. For me letting go, helped me gain more confidence because I was trusting in myself and the answers I received. I no longer tried to overthink, or analyze them to death or see them as the ultimate truth. I chose to see these answers as little signposts letting help me stay on the right track.
I started to focus more on doing what feels good and letting go of what isn’t. I prioritized listening to my needs and nurturing what needs attention. Each day, I take time to do one thing that gives me joy because it reminds me that there is always joy in the journey, no matter what.
If I look back on my life, I believe everything that has taken place in my life has been a contributing factor to the bigger picture. It’s been a lesson, a connection, a sign or a nudge, pushing me forward on my journey. So now, if there’s something in my life I haven’t been able to control, I release it to the universe to do its magic. It’s no longer my problem, it's a problem for the universe to solve and to be honest, it provides exactly what I need and right on time, every damn time.
So here’s to 2022… and letting go of the wheel and letting someone else drive for a while.