Why Hearing "You'll Find Them When You Least Expect It" Doesn't Suck Anymore
I'll be honest...
This sentence used to make me CRINGE...
Like honestly, stay in your lane, Brenda...
I have spent my entire life trying to find my person, my knight in shining armor the one who I thought was going to complete me. Cue Charlotte from Sex and the City... "WHERE IS HE !? As a young emotional, hopeless romantic, I devoured all the romantic movies I could cram into one brain and determined that this was the type of love of was looking for. That all-consuming, birds chirping, hit you over the head, feel-good kinda love. I believed finding this relationship was my mission, my goal, my one-lifetime achievement as a woman. I mean, it's what we are taught right? I wanted to be loved so badly it hurt... and hurt it did.
Through the years, I tried to find that love in all the wrong places. I was determined to find a successful relationship and forced myself into relationships that I shouldn't have been in - including my marriage. I've dated many men and even divorced one of them. That's quite a record for someone who's a hopeless romantic. For me, being single over 30 seemed unbearable and wasn't something I wanted to "leave to chance.
... so I thought.
Through my journey, I've realized that this little sentence takes on more meaning than just finding your "person"... it really means finding you.
It took me many years of inner work, failed relationships, and soul-searching to understand that finding my person was not the goal. The ultimate goal was to find me. The years I spent searching for a soulmate was only trying to fill a big gaping hole that had been there since childhood.
When I took the time to heal, do the inner work, and create a loving relationship with myself it opened up a whole new adventure.
I took myself out on dates and little adventures that gave me joy
I became diligent about what I put in my body and how I moved it
I embraced slowing down and being present
I erased the toxic script that I had been telling myself over the years and replaced it with a loving one
I completely filled my life with gratitude and love of all kinds. I found love everywhere - with my family, my friends, my business, and even strangers. A much bigger love than I had witnessed on any romantic comedy. Because... it was 100% real.
Then one day, after many days of building my big beautiful empire filled with all the things that bring me joy. I woke up to realize that this love was the unexpected love I'd been looking for... the one I created all by myself. Finding love with a partner didn't seem like such a big deal anymore because I found love in so many other places and somehow... I felt complete. For the first time ever, I began to truly see myself and feel the purest of love... one that, I didn't have to force or search for. A love that can only be found within.
After that, life opened up to an experience I could never have dreamed of and I couldn't believe what happened next...
You'll have to stay tuned to find out :)