When I re-entered the dating world, I was terrified of the stigma. You know… the stigma that being divorced makes you undesirable, damaged goods, tainted, and unlovable. Basically, a warty old spinster with 12 cats living in a broken-down cottage. Right?
NO. it's 100% FALSE - Newsflash! It comes down to what you believe about yourself and what others think. So let's change that.
I would argue that divorce actually HELPS you get closer to finding your true match. Why? Because being divorced gives you the one up when it comes to relationships. You've been through it, you've struggled through it, you know what it takes to be in a committed relationship. You'll be focused on uncovering what you want and what you don't because you'll be damned if you ever have to divorce again. You'll start recognizing the blaring red flags in your potential partners and yourself when it comes to the relationship flow. You've had the life experience that others have not and that makes you hella attractive, sis.
So get out there and flaunt your strong, sexy self!
Here are some tips to remember when you re-enter the dating scene:
1. Treat dating as if you're meeting a new friend, not your soulmate. Going on a date with high expectations is never a good idea. You'll have an internal checklist in your head of all the things you're looking for and will pre-maturely rule out your date if they don't "meet the criteria". Not only does it kill your vibe it kills the vibe of your date. Surprise! they can feel your anxious energy too. So drop the list, take a breath and just go enjoy the damn date for what it is… a date.
2. Dating is about exploring, learning, and understanding what works and what doesn't work for you when it comes to a partner. Dating is supposed to be hard, and feel like a chore because you're COMMITTING TO THIS PERSON FOR LIFE. I mean - we have drivers tests but we don't have marriage tests? Use dating as a social experiment - engage with different people, try new things, and set boundaries. Dating is your incredibly helpful tool to discover what works and what doesn't before committing to the long haul.
3. Curb your enthusiasm and take things slow - it's easy to get caught up in the excitement of someone new and miss the blaring red flags that are trying to get our attention. I know, because I've personally been there. Being completely infatuated with someone and then being blindsided by their shitty behaviour is never ideal. We tend to dream up an idea of our date in our heads and 99% of the time they never turn out how we image. Why? because we've built a fantasy in our heads. But you can combat that by dating the reality of a person rather than the potential. You'll never be disappointed when they turn out to be a complete asshole and you'll be pleasantly surprised when you find a diamond in the rough.
4. Focus on staying busy with commitments that are important to you rather than filling a schedule with potential dates trying to find a partner because you're lonely. Find new hobbies, book zoom dates with your friends and family, try new recipes, pick out a new workout routine, check out new spots in your city or town, go for a hike and explore a new nature park. There are a ton of activities you can do to fill your schedule you just have to be open and willing to finding them. When you start dating again, your potential match will be so impressed with your extracurriculars, they'll be attracted to you even more.
5. Date with intention. Stop dating people that you KNOW aren't in it for commitment, who are flaky and ultimately are only DTF. Remove them from your calendar and your radar. Choose people who embody what you're looking for and have similar values. Be open to possibilities that might not look like what you thought you wanted - it may be what you need. When you start intentionally choosing people that are headed in the same direction - you're signaling to the universe that's what you truly want and you'll get more of it. When your entertaining conversations with hot, shirtless Chad who's “here for a good time not a long time” to find out he's only interested in the hookup - you'll attract more of that. Trust me, don't waste your valuable time.
Remember dating flops are never failures - they're the universe just moving those who don't deserve to be your partner… out of the damn way so they can be replaced by someone who does.
How will you rewrite your love story?
It's time to become the heroine of your own epic adventure.
Join the Fierce Femme Program 👉👉👉 NOW