Do you remember when emo music was popular? The emotional anthems of our youth that sat by our side while we wallowed in our sorrows after a tough highschool breakup? Oh Dashboard Confessional, how you got me through many sleepless nights. Well, consider your inner negative self-talk that emo mixtape stuck on repeat. It’s been playing sad, depressing songs in your ear since 1990 and that shit has to go.
Changing over that mixtape to new loving beliefs about yourself is damn haaaarrrrrd, severely uncomfortable, takes a ton of effort, and just plain sucks the big one. Most of us will never entertain the idea of looking within to find out why things happen the way they do. The tiny violin keeps playing on and on. Unfortunately, you can't sugarcoat the suck, drown it with a bottle of wine (I've tried), fill it with food, or push it down until you can't feel it anymore. You can’t stop the suck, until you replace it with a new shiny playlist and press stop on the negative emo mixtape. You might want to give it a bit of a smash while you're at it.
It doesn't matter how many lavender bubble baths you indulge in or how many Haagen Daz flavours you “test out”, things won’t change until you do. The key to success is to stop fighting what you know you need to do and just freakin' do it. Get out of your own way, step into the inner adventure you have been ignoring, and power through. This is what I mean by "becoming the heroine of your own adventure". It’s having the courage to face your fears, and fight for a life that's authentic to you.
For me, real transformation happened when I made the decision to stop the tape and replace it with something better and a hell of a lot more kindness. The previous song list consisted of shoulds, expectations, ideas, and depressing ballads that reinforced the “not so great” image I had of myself. It was time to create a new mixtape of empowering songs that made me feel amazing, sexy as fuck, forced me to smile, laugh, shake my ass, and dance like a crazy woman. Most of all, they supported the belief that I'm enough and worthy of love especially, from myself. The new playlist doesn't put me down, compare me to others, or make me feel like a pile of steaming shit. It lifts me up, celebrates my wins, embraces flaws, and encourages my weirdness. It presents me with opportunities that align with who I am and what I want out of life - instead of ones that only perpetuate my negative beliefs.
If you're looking for a wakeup call, this is it. Stop playing the damn tape that’s preventing you from living your actual life. No, not your current mediocre one, but that big, beautiful imperfect life you want to be living but aren’t because you'd rather force what’s not working. The awesome life you keep denying yourself because you’re scared to deal with the shit you have been avoiding since, forever. You’re too afraid of what might happen or worse what might never happen without your unrelenting control. Well, princess, shit's about to get real.
Sometimes, you need to unapologetically let go of ideas, thoughts, or people in your life to truly move forward. Those choices aren’t easy and in fact, most times feel pretty impossible. It will feel like you’re losing large pieces of yourself because you’ve held on to them for so long. Believe me, the struggle is real and the pain is imminent, but keep going. Taking on the raw feelings of pain, anxiety, loss, and trusting the uncertainty of my life was and is the biggest, most terrifying risk I have ever taken. I’ll let you in on a little secret, once you release control and let the beauty of life do it’s thing, you'll be pleasantly surprised the reward is greater than your difficult journey and will always be so much sweeter.
My advice to you is to take a breath, put your big girl pants on, let go of fear, hold compassion for your darkness and love for your light, accept the journey you're on because girl, life's got plans for you. Bravely, remove your hands from 10 and 2, and let life take the wheel. You never know what could be waiting on the other side of fear until you make the conscious decision to stop the damn tape and update your playlist.
If you're ready to stop the tape and embark on your inner journey, I would love to help you become the heroine of your own adventure. xo
Lots of love,
Erin