If you know me well, you'll know I love... love and this has gotten me into trouble in the past.
I want to make something clear... despite my posts about being a self-empowered strong single woman, who thrives on self-compassion, living life fearlessly, and conquering the world one adventure at a time, I'm forever a work in progress. I'm a hopeless romantic with big feelings. I'm a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve, cares way too much, and falls way too fast. I'm a woman who takes risks in love, fails terribly, and gets right back up to do it all over again, and again. When it comes to relationships, friendships, or family - I love hard. This is my truth and I'm learning to embrace it and use this power for good.
After my divorce, I believed that hiding my hopeless romantic side enhanced the strong, hard-ass, fearless single woman, with an "I don't need a man" vibe. Yet, as an advocate for self-love and an independent single woman, who also believes in finding that big romantic love story, I felt like a fraud. It signaled that I'm unable to be on my own and need a relationship to define me - but that's not true. I've always believed wholeheartedly in love. No matter how many breakups or a difficult divorce, through it all I have still truly believed in the magic of love and still want to find it - even during pandemic. That's who I am (and always will be) and that's what makes me a heroine & a work in progress at the same time. I own that part of me. I'm also learning to deeply love that part of me as well.
Today, I chose to see this as a strength rather than a weakness - to me that's the definition of heroine status. I believe that love is one thing in life worth fighting for and it's a risk I'm willing to take. No matter how many bad dates, broken hearts, or unsolicited d*ck pics it takes to get there. I know who I am, what I want, and I'm not willing to settle for less. The truth is what if I'm both? What if I am both heroine AND a work in progress?
Being divorced, single, and alone doesn't mean you're a sad scorned woman with a negative disposition about love. You can still be happily single and still hopeful of finding love. You can still have that sheer excitement of the possibility of someone coming into your life and complementing it instead of filling a deep dark void. A powerful woman who goes after her dreams fearlessly, and never gives up on what she wants or denies herself in the process. With unwavering faith that doing the inner work and still trying (and failing) and trying again at love is still considered a heroic female act. These experiences are lessons that bring you closer to finding your person - and closer to yourself. A strong single and fierce woman who's kicking ass and taking numbers can still mean, you're incredibly happy single and you're still on an adventure of finding incredible big love - and that's ok.
You can be strong and single.
You can be strong, single & happy.
You can be strong, single & lonely.
You can be strong, single & heartbroken.
You can be strong, single & a hopeless romantic.
You can be strong, single, and hopeful in finding that big, bold love you've always wanted.
You can be strong & single.. and human.
Whatever type of single you are right now. It's ok. You're human and humans have feelings. Love those parts of you compassionately and unapologetically. There's no right way to be single and there's definitely no right way to live life. Be diligent in consistently doing the inner work making authentic choices that speak your truth and make you happy.
Never deny who you are in fear of disappointing others because, in the end, you're only denying and disappointing yourself. The choices you make on your journey are yours alone, as are the responsibilities and consequences that take place after the fact. You just need to trust in your journey and most of all, trust in yourself - the rest will all fall into place, perfectly.
Remember, you're the heroine of your own epic love story and it's your damn ending to write.
Lots of love,